Friday, 23 November 2012


I was interviewed yeterday about some aspects of my Psychotherapy practice.
Hope you enjoy it...complete with my Movember beard!


Thursday, 25 October 2012

Anyone ever feel like this?

If you put some fleas in a jar and close the lid, the fleas will begin

to jump, of course with the lid on they will only hit their tiny heads

and never be able to escape. After about 20 minutes they learn

that they are trapped and they change the height of their jumps

so that they will stop hitting their heads. 

Give them a little bit longer and they will grow accustomed that

they will never escape and once this happens you can safely

remove the lid and the fleas will continue jumping at the same

medium height, eternally trapped in the jar. 

You see they firmly believe that they will never be able to escape

and that's why they stop trying, of course after spending 20 minutes

jumping straight up hitting your head, with no way of escaping, who

wouldn't... The problem is that they get so used to the idea of being

trapped that they never even bother to lift their heads again to see

if the lid has come off...

Having a mentor or guide is a great way to help you keep lifting

your head to see if there is an opening in the jar, you never know

my friend, because just like in the case of the fleas, anything could

happen in 20 minutes. 

Never doubt yourself and what you can achieve, put your mind to

it, keep pushing and I promise you that an opening will come.

Monday, 15 October 2012

Exhaustion,Fatigue & Renewal

If you're wondering if you can keep going you're probably doing too much.
If you're wondering when to push yourself a bit harder you're probably not doing enough.
It's the fine line that Bradley Wiggins pedals so well.
Unless we create enough time for renewal & reflection it's easy to confuse the two.

Monday, 17 September 2012


I recently watched 8 Tibetan monks take 3 days to lovingly create a mandala of coloured sand.It was exquisite in its' intricate detail. At the end they destroyed it and ceremonially put it into The River Thames for the good of all beings(much to the surprise of the nearby fishermen!)
Such a rich metaphor for the energy and attention we put into creating our elaborate lives and their ultimate impermanence.

Monday, 10 September 2012

Higgs boson

This elusive particle is apparently the building block for all matter.It's been around since the big bang,the essence of the cosmos etc. If you follow that logic then we are all connected to all things and to each other.Same particles just clumped together differently & vibrating at different levels.
I am no scientist but that's how it seems to me.
What does that tell you about our relationship to all things animate & inanimate?
What does that tell you about your perception of separateness from & connection to each other?

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Going with the flow

Sometimes the river meanders gently and smoothly on a summers' afternoon.
Sometimes it's a raging torrent flowing over rapids on a dark & stormy night.
It feels easier to let go of the sides & go with the flow when the going is easy.
It requires skill, patience and detemination to do so on a dark night.
Perhaps that's when we need to do it all the more and have faith & trust.

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Which path to take?

I went for a walk with a friend and we had a choice of paths to take. It reminded me of the Robert Frost poem:

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Which option do you habitually take?

Sunday, 22 July 2012


I am standing on a bridge over a river.
Looking upstream it's all rushing towards me.
Looking dowanstream it's all flowing away.
I have a choice about which way I face and the
experience of each is totally different.

It's a similar choice between dwelling on the past or
being anxious about the future.

There is another alternative. Focus on the bridge.
It is solid and real NOW.
It both spans & connects the other two.

Monday, 16 July 2012

Collaborative Law

I have recently trained as a Family Consultant(I know that sounds a bit cheesy!) with the Collaborative Law group in the Northeast.This really is an innovative approach which is a speedier,cheaper way for couples to separate and stay out of court & in control.Above all it keeps the welfare of children in sharp focus during the turbulence of divorce.
They have a great new  WEBSITE with loads of info.

Wednesday, 11 July 2012


Today is the Tomorrow I worried about Yesterday,and all is well.