Wednesday, 23 October 2013


How often have you been to a doctor,taken your car to a garage,called a plumber,builder etc and had an idea at the beginning what the problem(and perhaps the solution)is.
The real "expert" is usually the one who takes the time to listen & gather information from you.
In other words they treat you like you are the expert on you & your problem.
How much of an expert is the person who has to call themselves an expert?
As Lord Sugar put it, "An entrepeneur is not something you call is how others refer to you."

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Attachment & Defence

The more attached I am to something/an idea or someone the more inclined I am to defend it from a perceived threat.
The more threats I perceive & defensive I become the more likely I am to lose the object/idea/person I was attached to.
The work then is to let go of attachment & stop defending - simple, right?!

Wednesday, 2 October 2013


I came to the conclusion a few years ago that even if I could give each of my children 500% more of everything(time,energy,attention etc) it would still not be enough.They are bottomless pits as far as these demands are concerned.That's ok- it's their job!
My job is to do the best I can & happily accept the shortfall between demand & capability/capacity so that they can accept that in me & in themselves too....good enough is good enough!

Thursday, 26 September 2013

"At one"

I was talking to someone recently who described a vivid experience of feeling "at one with"/"connected to" a tree.I have often had the experience of feeling that I am "bleeding into"/"merging with" the landscape living out here.A merging of realities.
I wonder if the omni-presence of the Higgs Boson(God particle) can begin to explain the merging of/connection of one person or object into another.

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

It's been a while!

The world's worst blogger returns...
I bumped into an old friend Amanda Dixon last week.She is a social media diva/goddess...amongst other things!She told me how much she had enjoyed my blogs & asked me what happened.
Well in truth I (yet again) lost heart.It felt a bit like shouting into the void/talking to myself etc.
I guess the point is about keeping on keeping on regardless of response ...carry on posting.
Thanks for the nudge Amanda!

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Making "it" happen & wanting "it" now

First of all you had better define "it"...perhaps that is easy?
Then take action.
So many people gain the illusion of success that way.
I suggest there is more to "it" than that.
What if before acting & demanding more of us asked ourselves
things like, "it" according to who,when according to
Where is the humility in that?

What if another version of "it" is unfolding under you nose already
and you are missing it?!

Monday, 4 March 2013


How many times a day do you resist,argue,push back,stay fixed,hold your position,become defensive,get angry,curse another driver,push,talk back etc?
What might happen if you gave way and focused your energy differently?

Friday, 8 February 2013

Anxiety & The News

About 2 years ago I noticed that a lot of clients presenting with anxiety listen to the news a LOT (TV,radio,phone updates etc).
Much of the news seems to be based on what might happen. Something like:This small thing has happened.That means that this might happen,if that happens then this might happen & if that happens we're really screwed!
As people weaned themselves off so much media exposure their anxiety began to drop(there was some therapy too!!) and their wellbeing increased.
Stay informed by all means and also take the time to look around you at what is actually happening in your situation right now,are you ok?
"Whenever you meet a problem, help if it is in your power to do so.After you have acted,withdraw and be unconcerned about it.Walk on without ever mentioning it to anybody.Then there is no worry,because there has been no action."

Sunday, 20 January 2013

The Difference between Intent and Impact

 Imagine for a moment that I have just said something which has hurt your feelings. You tell me I have hurt you. I am shocked; I was aware of no desire to hurt you. I just wanted to make sure you understood my position, so I said it forcefully. Now if we are not careful we could get into an argument about who is right. I could maintain that I am totally innocent and you are much too sensitive for your own good. You could maintain that you were not born yesterday and you know when someone is hurting you.

The intent/impact model says that there is nothing to argue about: we are both right.
I am the world’s leading expert on my intent. The only way you can know what my
intent was is if I tell you. There is no way to argue against it. I am the authority.
Similarly you are the world’s leading expert on the impact my statement had on you.
The only way I can know what impact I had is for you to tell me. There is nothing to
argue about. You are the authority. We have each learned something about the other
and about ourselves.
Impact can be very different from our intent. I do not always appear to others the
way I do to myself. Only I can know my intent, and you will never know it if I don’t
tell you. But only you can know the impact I have, and I will never know it if you
don’t tell me.

Wednesday, 16 January 2013


I took a group of teenagers skating.Some had been before & others had not.
What became quickly apparent was that you can't learn to skate by hanging onto the side.
In order to learn you have to take a chance,be prepared to fall over & even get hurt a bit.
Like so much in life it's more about letting go of our fear,having a go & getting up and starting again
if we fall...oh & having some fun & laughter too!