Going with the flow

Sometimes the river meanders gently and smoothly on a summers' afternoon.
Sometimes it's a raging torrent flowing over rapids on a dark & stormy night.
It feels easier to let go of the sides & go with the flow when the going is easy.
It requires skill, patience and detemination to do so on a dark night.
Perhaps that's when we need to do it all the more and have faith & trust.

Which path to take?

I went for a walk with a friend and we had a choice of paths to take. It reminded me of the Robert Frost poem:

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Which option do you habitually take?

Bridge

I am standing on a bridge over a river.
Looking upstream it's all rushing towards me.
Looking dowanstream it's all flowing away.
I have a choice about which way I face and the
experience of each is totally different.

It's a similar choice between dwelling on the past or
being anxious about the future.

There is another alternative. Focus on the bridge.
It is solid and real NOW.
It both spans & connects the other two.

Collaborative Law

I have recently trained as a Family Consultant(I know that sounds a bit cheesy!) with the Collaborative Law group in the Northeast.This really is an innovative approach which is a speedier,cheaper way for couples to separate and stay out of court & in control.Above all it keeps the welfare of children in sharp focus during the turbulence of divorce.
They have a great new  WEBSITE with loads of info.

Anxiety?

Today is the Tomorrow I worried about Yesterday,and all is well.

So What?

Ever got to the point where you ask yourself:

What am I doing, why am I doing it, is it working, where am I going etc 

Just when I was beginning to question why I am still 4sighting/persevering with the Getinvolved project a woman came up to me recently at the end of 4N meeting and said, “Thank you. What you said has given me inspiration to carry on & the knowledge that it’s not just me that struggles.”  Thought I’d share the lessons learned so far as feedback like that is a massive part of my “why”. 

Creating quiet still space for a germ of an idea to form. We are so inundated with input (social media/phone/email etc) and the pressure to be instantly available can be overwhelming. How can you know what’s going on inside if you don’t make time to listen? You could easily overlook what might be a brilliant idea.

Once the idea progresses to the point where you are going to (& probably feel compelled to) act, pause to reflect on why it is important to you. Whilst  £ is great, it’s pursuit alone is unlikely to keep you going when it gets really tough. I’ve talked about this before in some earlier articles. As Nietzsche put it, “If man has a big enough why he can cope with almost any how.” Make sure your why is MASSIVE! 

When setting a target aim for the stars. Setting an ambitious goal forces us to think creatively. It’s all too tempting to set a soft target and give ourselves a pat on the back for a job well done. Set a big target & be prepared to “fail” publicly. Put your ego to one side & get on with it. Failure is the other side of the coin from innovation. Think about it. You will be forced to think differently and even if you fall short of the big target you will almost certainly beat the soft/easy option. Going public helps you hold yourself accountable! 

Collaborate. You don’t have to prove you can do it all on your own. Not only is it easier if there are a few of you involved…it’s a lot more fun too. Find people who share your values/your “why” and engage. Everyone involved must have an equal amount to gain/lose from the project’s success/failure.

I’ve read/spoken loads about “letting go” over the years & thought I understood the concept well. The last few months have been an exercise in shifting from “me” to “we”/ “mine” to “ours”. If I’m honest I’m still struggling a bit and there are others involved who are patient teachers. Thank you.

Persevere. Life/business & marathons can be gruelling at times. Stick with it one step at a time. It may not turn out as you expected and the route may be full of twists & turns. If you put all of the above into practice you will get “there”…even if it’s a different “there” from the one you set off for!

Thank YOU lady for saying what you said as it has re focused me on my “why” and answered the “so what”.

Why!

Why do you do what you do? It's really important that you know...people connect with the "why" rather than the "what".Also,it's the "why" that keeps us going through the tough times. As Nietzsche put it,"If man has a big enough why he can cope with almost any how".